So I began telling the story of my "oh crap I'm pregnant" moment on Friday, ending with the fact that I took my first pregnancy test with a negative result (or so I thought).
So we go on with out lives. Jake puts groceries away, we enjoy the rest of our Sunday afternoon and we go about our week like normal. Until Saturday, when I realize I still haven't got my period yet. 2 weeks late...starting to get worried. I tell Jake and he says we should go to Walmart and get another test, so we do and again I get the cheapest one I can find. Get home, I go upstairs to pee and this time I read the directions (whoa, what an idea!) and I immediately begin to shake- while holding the test. Yep definitely peed on my hand because I read the part where it says it doesn't matter if one line is not as clear as the other. Two lines = pregnant. I happen to look down as I finish peeing and the positive sign is already beginning to show on the test. Tears start...but I tell myself I can't cry because I don't want Jake to freak out. It could be two false positives. Right? I wipe my eyes, go downstairs and tell Jake
"It was positive this time"
"Are you sure?"- Jake
"Yea. I read the directions, and it says that it doesn't matter how strong the lines are. If there are two, then I'm pregnant. I guess I lied the last time." -Me
"Fuck this plus or minus shit! I want the one that says PREGNANT, NOT PREGNANT!!!"- Jake
Freaking out ensues. I tell Jake to calm down because if I am pregnant there's nothing we can do about it. And because I read everything you put in front of me, somewhere along the line I remember learning that if you are pregnant, your hormones are strongest in the morning so a test taken in the morning is more likely to give you the right result. I tell Jake this and we decide to run to Walmart first thing in the morning to get the PREGNANT, NOT PREGNANT test. I'm still in denial. Nope, not pregnant. Can't be. I'm on the pill, and I took it religiously every night at 9pm.
Sunday morning, bright and early we are both awake and ready to go (surprise, we both didn't sleep well that night). Go to Walmart, get the $15 EPT test to confirm/deny what I was starting to think was the truth. Get home, go upstairs and begin to pee. Pretty sure my pee didn't actually hit the stick before it was coming up..."PREGNANT".
The one and only time I wanted to throw up in my whole pregnancy was that moment. Seeing that word on the test. I didn't want to be pregnant. I immediately began to think Jake was going to leave me. He was 21 years old. His girlfriend is pregnant. Of course he was going to leave me. I go downstairs and show Jake the test. I don't remember much after that. I think we both may have cried, and I don't remember any words being spoken until I said I would call the doctor Monday morning to make an appointment.
Think this story is over? Not yet...
Monday, June 4, 2012
Friday, June 1, 2012
I don't want you to worry...
So I was having a discussion with a co-worker this morning about our "how we found out we were pregnant" stories. I have grossed you out with my birth story and also kind of given you an idea of how Jennie's nickname, Cupcake, came about. For alot of girls, finding out they are pregnant is a source of excitement. Not for me. Here is my honest-to-God recollection from the time I suspected I was pregnant to the day of our official announcement.
I don't remember the exact day, but it was a couple days after my birthday (January 26, 2011) and Jake and I were at Target. I should have had my period the week before but it hadn't come. Which is strange- ever since I got my first one in 6th grade, I have never missed and was always pretty regular. But I just figured it was because I had run out of my birth control. Back in December, my prescription had run out for the pill I was on, so I had taken my last one December 26th but just kept forgetting to go get my yearly physical and get my pills refilled. You're probably thinking, "well duh, if you weren't on the pill, then why were you surprised you got pregnant?" Don't assume everything til you know the whole story :) And why the date of my last pill stuck in my mind, I have no idea. Sooo anyways, Jake and I were in Target getting groceries and we walked by the "family planning" aisle. I told Jake I would be right back...went and grabbed the cheapest pregnancy test I could find. I told Jake "I don't want you to worry. I know I'm not pregnant but I just want to rule out everything since I haven't got my period this month yet." Seriously, don't worry. Telling a guy not to worry when his girlfriend grabs a pregnancy test...ha. ha. ha. Anyways...
We get home and go pee on the little stick. Most awkward thing ever (actually at the time it was. Trying to pee in a cup while 9 months pregnant is worse). After I'm done peeing I'm trying to figure out where to set the stick. Seriously, I'm supposed to sit something I just peed on on the sink counter? Gross...but I did. Wash my hands, hang out in the bathroom. Jake is still downstairs putting groceries away. Everyone says those three minutes waiting for the test to show it's answer are the longest minutes of your life. Nope. Not at all. Because I wasn't pregnant. No way I could be. Those few minutes actually went really fast. Looked at the window on the test...a strong horizontal line and a (very) weak vertical line. Heyyyy! Both lines aren't strong, so I can't be pregnant. I run downstairs, tell Jake everything's fine and we go on with our lives.
Ok, so obviously you know there's more to this story. And you will get to read about it at a later time...and a word to the wise. Read the directions on everything you buy.
I don't remember the exact day, but it was a couple days after my birthday (January 26, 2011) and Jake and I were at Target. I should have had my period the week before but it hadn't come. Which is strange- ever since I got my first one in 6th grade, I have never missed and was always pretty regular. But I just figured it was because I had run out of my birth control. Back in December, my prescription had run out for the pill I was on, so I had taken my last one December 26th but just kept forgetting to go get my yearly physical and get my pills refilled. You're probably thinking, "well duh, if you weren't on the pill, then why were you surprised you got pregnant?" Don't assume everything til you know the whole story :) And why the date of my last pill stuck in my mind, I have no idea. Sooo anyways, Jake and I were in Target getting groceries and we walked by the "family planning" aisle. I told Jake I would be right back...went and grabbed the cheapest pregnancy test I could find. I told Jake "I don't want you to worry. I know I'm not pregnant but I just want to rule out everything since I haven't got my period this month yet." Seriously, don't worry. Telling a guy not to worry when his girlfriend grabs a pregnancy test...ha. ha. ha. Anyways...
We get home and go pee on the little stick. Most awkward thing ever (actually at the time it was. Trying to pee in a cup while 9 months pregnant is worse). After I'm done peeing I'm trying to figure out where to set the stick. Seriously, I'm supposed to sit something I just peed on on the sink counter? Gross...but I did. Wash my hands, hang out in the bathroom. Jake is still downstairs putting groceries away. Everyone says those three minutes waiting for the test to show it's answer are the longest minutes of your life. Nope. Not at all. Because I wasn't pregnant. No way I could be. Those few minutes actually went really fast. Looked at the window on the test...a strong horizontal line and a (very) weak vertical line. Heyyyy! Both lines aren't strong, so I can't be pregnant. I run downstairs, tell Jake everything's fine and we go on with our lives.
Ok, so obviously you know there's more to this story. And you will get to read about it at a later time...and a word to the wise. Read the directions on everything you buy.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
One month off
Apparently I decided to take a one month vacation from blogging. Actually, it's because (surprise!) life got in the way. A promotion at work, teething, crawling (and almost standing up on her own- woahhhh), 2 dogs, and a house to take care of takes away from "my" time and I do consider my blog to be a part of those few precious alone times. I can reflect on what has been happening...I take a step back and realize all the hardships will pass. They will pass...please tell me they will.
Last night, we went to bed around 8:45pm, and by 10pm Jake was up puking. And he puked A-L-L night. The first time he got up, I went to check on Jennie and what did I find? She had vomited in her sleep. All over. Her sheets, blanket, shirt, boppy pillow, everything covered in vomit. I can handle alot of things, but like most people, the aroma of puke isn't my favorite thing to smell. And not very pleasant in the middle of the night. So I woke Jennie up and boy was she pissed...but seriously, how had she not woken up? When I realized what had happened, I'm really lucky that she happened to fall asleep on her side last night. All my first aid and CPR training came flooding back to me when I realized she could have drowned in her own puke. *Shudder* Never actually thought I would see something like that. But I digress...a 2nd bath for the night done, put her in her bouncy seat in the living room and turned on some BabyFirst TV (channel 9400 on DishNetwork, it's a lifesaver) and went to clean out her crib. Started a load of laundry and came back to get some snuggles with my baby girl only to find she had puked. Again. 3rd bath of the night coming right up...she was very confused by all the action at such a strange hour. Still not really sure what caused all the vomit from her and Jake both. Jake continued to be sick all night but Jennie was fine after an hour or so of snuggles on the couch together. She passed out in my arms and I (of course) was not in a comfortable position to sleep, so what's a mom to do? Oh yea, that's right, sacrifice her own sleep. So I switched from BabyFirst to The Girls Next Door on E! (c'mon, who hasn't wanted to be a Playboy Bunny?) until 3am when I decided that if I was going to be of any use at work today- hello 7am-6pm day!- I should probably lie down. Commence awkward slide down onto couch with Jennie in my arms...DON'T WAKE THE BABY! Mission accomplished...
How Jake made it to work today, I have no idea. He puked literally all night but was out the door at 6am for work and won't be home til after 6pm. Jennie hasn't had such a good day here at the daycare either. Refusing her bottles and napping most of the day is NOT like my daughter. A stomach bug? Another flu? Possibly bad food? Who knows. All I know is, this momma is tired. But guess what? My local grocery store is running their double-coupon promotion tonight, so I'll be there to try and score some deals from my little family. Such is the life of being a parent. Hopefully I haven't grossed you out too much :)
Last night, we went to bed around 8:45pm, and by 10pm Jake was up puking. And he puked A-L-L night. The first time he got up, I went to check on Jennie and what did I find? She had vomited in her sleep. All over. Her sheets, blanket, shirt, boppy pillow, everything covered in vomit. I can handle alot of things, but like most people, the aroma of puke isn't my favorite thing to smell. And not very pleasant in the middle of the night. So I woke Jennie up and boy was she pissed...but seriously, how had she not woken up? When I realized what had happened, I'm really lucky that she happened to fall asleep on her side last night. All my first aid and CPR training came flooding back to me when I realized she could have drowned in her own puke. *Shudder* Never actually thought I would see something like that. But I digress...a 2nd bath for the night done, put her in her bouncy seat in the living room and turned on some BabyFirst TV (channel 9400 on DishNetwork, it's a lifesaver) and went to clean out her crib. Started a load of laundry and came back to get some snuggles with my baby girl only to find she had puked. Again. 3rd bath of the night coming right up...she was very confused by all the action at such a strange hour. Still not really sure what caused all the vomit from her and Jake both. Jake continued to be sick all night but Jennie was fine after an hour or so of snuggles on the couch together. She passed out in my arms and I (of course) was not in a comfortable position to sleep, so what's a mom to do? Oh yea, that's right, sacrifice her own sleep. So I switched from BabyFirst to The Girls Next Door on E! (c'mon, who hasn't wanted to be a Playboy Bunny?) until 3am when I decided that if I was going to be of any use at work today- hello 7am-6pm day!- I should probably lie down. Commence awkward slide down onto couch with Jennie in my arms...DON'T WAKE THE BABY! Mission accomplished...
How Jake made it to work today, I have no idea. He puked literally all night but was out the door at 6am for work and won't be home til after 6pm. Jennie hasn't had such a good day here at the daycare either. Refusing her bottles and napping most of the day is NOT like my daughter. A stomach bug? Another flu? Possibly bad food? Who knows. All I know is, this momma is tired. But guess what? My local grocery store is running their double-coupon promotion tonight, so I'll be there to try and score some deals from my little family. Such is the life of being a parent. Hopefully I haven't grossed you out too much :)
Monday, April 30, 2012
I'm gonna jinx myself
I don't even want to write this...I know that the second I put it out there for you all to see, it's gonna end. But here goes- Jennie has slept ALL night, every night, for the past week. From last Sunday night to this Sunday night, Jake and I have enjoyed 8-10 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Could be many reasons for this-
1. What we were dealing with a couple weeks ago was actually a growth spurt, and not a teething event. Unlikely...she has all the symptoms of cutting a new tooth, just no new tooth.
2. After witnessing my daughter nap through one of the most rambunctious days in her classroom (picture day at daycare= crazy kids!!) and the fact that she doesn't nap well at home, we realized maybe she likes lots of noise when she sleeps. So we put a radio in her room and ever since she has slept all night. I knew she was going to be a country music lover from the time she was in my belly- but the fact that she is sleeping while her "boyfriend" Luke Bryan and others sing to her makes me chuckle. So this is definitely a reason why she is sleeping.
3. You're gonna laugh at this one- she has an egg hanging above her door. Ok, maybe you're not laughing- maybe you're going "what the hell?!" Here's the story behind that- one of our friends is from Kentucky and she is always telling us old wives' tales from the south concerning babies and parenting. Her big one when I was pregnant was "don't buy a crib til after 20 weeks" (a superstitious story about losing a baby in utero before that time). When we visited her one day during the week of Hell I described in an earlier post, she told us to hang an egg inside one of her socks above her door. She didn't actually explain the story behind it, she just told us to do it. So we did. When you're in the middle of a hair-pulling, no sleep, screaming fit (and your daughter is doing the same) you'll try anything. So we did. And guess what- it worked. She has slept so good ever since. And guess what again? It's still there. It's been nearly 2 weeks...you would think it would start to stink. I'm going to be so worried when I have to change it out- what if it messes up the sleeping streak?! Nooooo!!!! Sorry if you come in our house and it smells like rotten eggs. But if it means my daughter is sleeping, let it stink.
Know any old wives' tales or stories concerning babies or parenting? Share them here...love hearing them all!
And this is my baby girl on her 7 month birthday :)
1. What we were dealing with a couple weeks ago was actually a growth spurt, and not a teething event. Unlikely...she has all the symptoms of cutting a new tooth, just no new tooth.
2. After witnessing my daughter nap through one of the most rambunctious days in her classroom (picture day at daycare= crazy kids!!) and the fact that she doesn't nap well at home, we realized maybe she likes lots of noise when she sleeps. So we put a radio in her room and ever since she has slept all night. I knew she was going to be a country music lover from the time she was in my belly- but the fact that she is sleeping while her "boyfriend" Luke Bryan and others sing to her makes me chuckle. So this is definitely a reason why she is sleeping.
3. You're gonna laugh at this one- she has an egg hanging above her door. Ok, maybe you're not laughing- maybe you're going "what the hell?!" Here's the story behind that- one of our friends is from Kentucky and she is always telling us old wives' tales from the south concerning babies and parenting. Her big one when I was pregnant was "don't buy a crib til after 20 weeks" (a superstitious story about losing a baby in utero before that time). When we visited her one day during the week of Hell I described in an earlier post, she told us to hang an egg inside one of her socks above her door. She didn't actually explain the story behind it, she just told us to do it. So we did. When you're in the middle of a hair-pulling, no sleep, screaming fit (and your daughter is doing the same) you'll try anything. So we did. And guess what- it worked. She has slept so good ever since. And guess what again? It's still there. It's been nearly 2 weeks...you would think it would start to stink. I'm going to be so worried when I have to change it out- what if it messes up the sleeping streak?! Nooooo!!!! Sorry if you come in our house and it smells like rotten eggs. But if it means my daughter is sleeping, let it stink.
Know any old wives' tales or stories concerning babies or parenting? Share them here...love hearing them all!
And this is my baby girl on her 7 month birthday :)
Monday, April 23, 2012
I'm happy to announce....
everyone, take a deep breath....
I SURVIVED!!! Yea, bet you didn't think I was gonna say that. What I'm trying to say is, I survived last week, one of the toughest of my new-mom life so far. From Sunday til Saturday, my daughter was kidnapped and replaced with a baby who didn't sleep, didn't eat right, and screamed...ALL. DAY. LONG. Pretty sure it was teething, but still no new tooth to show for it. I'm so happy my real baby is back- smiling, laughing, eating like a beast. I really thought that by Thursday night I was going to lose all my hair whether it be from her pulling on it while she was screaming or me actually pulling it out myself, but I'm intact.
A big thanks to my mom and dad for watching Jennie Saturday night while we held a birthday bash for Jake, Chris and Amber. We celebrated til 4am...it's been a LONG time since Jake and I have stayed up all night (for fun anyway). Tons of friends came out, lots of drinks were served (mostly to Amber lol) and I realized that I have some pretty awesome people in my life. Here is just a few of them :)
And I promise Chris is actually having fun...
Well, a short post tonight, since now my daughter is trying to tell us it is bath time- how is it 8:30pm already?!- hope I didn't scare ya too much with my big announcement ;)
I SURVIVED!!! Yea, bet you didn't think I was gonna say that. What I'm trying to say is, I survived last week, one of the toughest of my new-mom life so far. From Sunday til Saturday, my daughter was kidnapped and replaced with a baby who didn't sleep, didn't eat right, and screamed...ALL. DAY. LONG. Pretty sure it was teething, but still no new tooth to show for it. I'm so happy my real baby is back- smiling, laughing, eating like a beast. I really thought that by Thursday night I was going to lose all my hair whether it be from her pulling on it while she was screaming or me actually pulling it out myself, but I'm intact.
A big thanks to my mom and dad for watching Jennie Saturday night while we held a birthday bash for Jake, Chris and Amber. We celebrated til 4am...it's been a LONG time since Jake and I have stayed up all night (for fun anyway). Tons of friends came out, lots of drinks were served (mostly to Amber lol) and I realized that I have some pretty awesome people in my life. Here is just a few of them :)
Well, a short post tonight, since now my daughter is trying to tell us it is bath time- how is it 8:30pm already?!- hope I didn't scare ya too much with my big announcement ;)
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Fighting it
Day 6 of teething. Jennie slept all night Wednesday and Thursday nights...last night was not so good. Jennie went to bed at 9, but woke up at 1:30am and was awake til about 3am coughing on all the drool that is caused by teething. She was fine when I was standing up, holding and rocking her. The second I put her down in her crib, she would fidget, wiggle and cough. Did this for about an hour and a half. Teething is such a hard thing to handle, as I've said before, mostly for one reason- the baby's worst pains always seem to happen in the middle of the night. And at 2am, it doesn't matter that millions of other babies are keeping their parents up for the same reason- you feel so alone when you look out your baby's bedroom window and see all the lights in your neighborhood out. Alone and helpless. There really isn't a decent product on the market to soothe those little gums...Tylenol does help, but Orajel doesn't do anything for Jennie and we still haven't had a chance to go get those teething tablets everyone is raving about. Mostly because I don't want to risk a meltdown in public with an inconsolably-in-pain baby. Going to lunch with some co-workers today...wish me luck!
Tonight is the epic birthday bash I have planned for Jake, his best friend (and Jennie's godfather) Chris and my best friend Amber, and I'm fighting the urge to tell my parents they don't have to watch Jennie tonight. I know they can handle her at her worst but that guilt of handing her over when I know she isn't at her best kills me. And as much as I'm looking forward to seeing all my friends I know my mind won't be 100% with them. Every mom gets those feelings when their child isn't around- you hear them crying when they aren't there, you all the sudden stop because you just know something isn't right. I'm sure it's going to happen multiple times tonight and hopefully I can fight the urge to text my mom to make sure everything is ok. Because it will be ok. But if you're at my house tonight and you notice that I haven't been able to get my phone out of my hand you'll know why. And then you can take a shot on my behalf- I deserve it after the week I had** :)
**I don't drink- that's why you can take the shot :)
Tonight is the epic birthday bash I have planned for Jake, his best friend (and Jennie's godfather) Chris and my best friend Amber, and I'm fighting the urge to tell my parents they don't have to watch Jennie tonight. I know they can handle her at her worst but that guilt of handing her over when I know she isn't at her best kills me. And as much as I'm looking forward to seeing all my friends I know my mind won't be 100% with them. Every mom gets those feelings when their child isn't around- you hear them crying when they aren't there, you all the sudden stop because you just know something isn't right. I'm sure it's going to happen multiple times tonight and hopefully I can fight the urge to text my mom to make sure everything is ok. Because it will be ok. But if you're at my house tonight and you notice that I haven't been able to get my phone out of my hand you'll know why. And then you can take a shot on my behalf- I deserve it after the week I had** :)
**I don't drink- that's why you can take the shot :)
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Not again
My daughter is teething. Again. She had her first tooth pop through a couple weeks ago, and if she isn't teething, then somebody needs to return my happy, smiling daughter. A fever, unstoppable drool, inconsistent appetite, horrible gas...all of the above have contributed to a baby who, if she isn't being held or constantly entertained, is screaming bloody murder. And in the past 48 hours, it feels like she has slept a total of 30 minutes. Jennie's schedule is pretty easy to figure out- awake for 2-3 hours, then takes a 20-40 minute nap. Yesterday, she was awake from 2:40-7pm, when we finally put her in the car just to see if she would nap. She slept til we got to Walgreens in Rochelle (a 15-20 minute drive), was awake during our shopping trip, slept a little bit on the way home, then decided to NOT go to bed til 10:30pm. Oh, and guess who woke Daddy up at 3am, then woke mommy up at 4am, and Daddy got up with her again at 5am. Exhausted doesn't even begin to cover it.
What kills me is how different Jennie acts while teething. We get so many comments about how she is always smiling, or how happy or well behaved she is. One of her daycare teachers even said "She musta been born with a smile on her face!" But when she is teething, smiles are few and far between. And guess what- mother's guilt kicks in. Why can't I make her feel better? Why is she screaming like this? Do I give her Tylenol or let her ride it out? About a million other questions fly through my mind (and I'm sure Jake's too).
Hopefully soon we get this situation figured out because my life is this equation: teething baby + busy work schedule + no sleep in 48 hours = one exhausted set of parents. Jake's birthday is on Thursday, and I would love to give him a full night's sleep or a new tooth in his daughter's mouth. But guess what? We will more than likely end up getting home from work, taking turns carrying Jennie in circles around the house and possibly eating a cold dinner around 9pm. Happy early birthday babe :)
What kills me is how different Jennie acts while teething. We get so many comments about how she is always smiling, or how happy or well behaved she is. One of her daycare teachers even said "She musta been born with a smile on her face!" But when she is teething, smiles are few and far between. And guess what- mother's guilt kicks in. Why can't I make her feel better? Why is she screaming like this? Do I give her Tylenol or let her ride it out? About a million other questions fly through my mind (and I'm sure Jake's too).
Hopefully soon we get this situation figured out because my life is this equation: teething baby + busy work schedule + no sleep in 48 hours = one exhausted set of parents. Jake's birthday is on Thursday, and I would love to give him a full night's sleep or a new tooth in his daughter's mouth. But guess what? We will more than likely end up getting home from work, taking turns carrying Jennie in circles around the house and possibly eating a cold dinner around 9pm. Happy early birthday babe :)
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