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Monday, June 4, 2012

One week later

So I began telling the story of my "oh crap I'm pregnant" moment on Friday, ending with the fact that I took my first pregnancy test with a negative result (or so I thought).

So we go on with out lives. Jake puts groceries away, we enjoy the rest of our Sunday afternoon and we go about our week like normal. Until Saturday, when I realize I still haven't got my period yet. 2 weeks late...starting to get worried. I tell Jake and he says we should go to Walmart and get another test, so we do and again I get the cheapest one I can find. Get home, I go upstairs to pee and this time I read the directions (whoa, what an idea!) and I immediately begin to shake- while holding the test. Yep definitely peed on my hand because I read the part where it says it doesn't matter if one line is not as clear as the other. Two lines = pregnant. I happen to look down as I finish peeing and the positive sign is already beginning to show on the test. Tears start...but I tell myself I can't cry because I don't want Jake to freak out. It could be two false positives. Right? I wipe my eyes, go downstairs and tell Jake
"It was positive this time"
"Are you sure?"- Jake
"Yea. I read the directions, and it says that it doesn't matter how strong the lines are. If there are two, then I'm pregnant. I guess I lied the last time." -Me
"Fuck this plus or minus shit! I want the one that says PREGNANT, NOT PREGNANT!!!"- Jake

Freaking out ensues. I tell Jake to calm down because if I am pregnant there's nothing we can do about it. And because I read everything you put in front of me, somewhere along the line I remember learning that if you are pregnant, your hormones are strongest in the morning so a test taken in the morning is more likely to give you the right result. I tell Jake this and we decide to run to Walmart first thing in the morning to get the PREGNANT, NOT PREGNANT test. I'm still in denial. Nope, not pregnant. Can't be. I'm on the pill, and I took it religiously every night at 9pm.

Sunday morning, bright and early we are both awake and ready to go (surprise, we both didn't sleep well that night). Go to Walmart, get the $15 EPT test to confirm/deny what I was starting to think was the truth. Get home, go upstairs and begin to pee. Pretty sure my pee didn't actually hit the stick before it was coming up..."PREGNANT".

The one and only time I wanted to throw up in my whole pregnancy was that moment. Seeing that word on the test. I didn't want to be pregnant. I immediately began to think Jake was going to leave me. He was 21 years old. His girlfriend is pregnant. Of course he was going to leave me. I go downstairs and show Jake the test. I don't remember much after that. I think we both may have cried, and I don't remember any words being spoken until I said I would call the doctor Monday morning to make an appointment.

Think this story is over? Not yet...

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