All by myself

Last week, Jennie was sick. Today, Jake woke up sick. Actually, he woke up at 3am puking which of course woke me up. It was the second day in a row with a 3am wake up call (Jennie woke up that early yesterday after going to bed at 7pm Tuesday night...wayyyy too early!) Jake called into work this morning while I went in for a couple hours before I took him to his doctor's appointment. Diagnosis? A flu bug- one that the tests don't show, but the doctor is "pretty sure" the symptoms match with the flu. So glad Jake paid his $30 co-pay for a doctor to guess what is wrong with him. I coulda told him he had the flu. Oh well. So I sent Jennie to my parents' house for the night while I cleaned and disinfected our house from top to bottom so she doesn't get sick, again. After 4 hours of scrubbing, I'm ready for a nap. Or just some time out of the house. Instead I'll warm up left overs, turn on the evening news, and eat while Jake continues to sleep.

While typing this I keep thinking of a million other things I could do since Jake is out of my hair and Jennie is out of the house- go for a walk in this super nice weather, read a book, take a bath. But I know I won't do any of them because there are TWO million things I could do around the house- wash the carpets, clean the bathrooms, put away the mountain of clean laundry on top of the dryer. Alone time doesn't happen very often once you become a parent, and I'm still learning how to deal with the "guilt" of enjoying it. Part of the problem is I can't get used to the fact Jennie isn't here right now- like just a second ago the dogs started barking at something outside and I reached down to comfort Jennie in her chair so she wouldn't be scared. She wasn't there of course (that was a lot of rhyming words)...and every once in awhile I still hear her fuss or cry. I'm sure moms reading this know what I'm talking about.

I know that I'll be kicking myself next week for not taking some time to enjoy myself, since I'm sure I'll be sick. But right now, all I can think about is the dishes in the sink and the mud on the carpet from the dogs' paws. So I'll go do that. After reading this, go wash your hands or rub some Purell on your hands so you don't get sick. Take care of yourself :)