I have taken full advantage of this absolutely gorgeous weather we have had lately and tried to get myself back into shape. Last week I walked over 13 miles and my goal for this week is to cover 20 miles walking and/or running and I'm well over half way there. But just when I started feeling good about myself, someone had to burst my bubble. I'll call her an acquaintance- someone I know, not too well but apparently she knows me well enough to judge me. She told me "I have no idea how you have the time to exercise. You work and have a baby- you must not spend a lot of time with your family". Feelings of guilt sink in, even though Jennie goes with me 90% of the time when I walk, and Jake is with us every night after work. I don't take Jennie with me when I run (which has only been twice this week) because I don't have a jogging stroller- and it is wayyyy too complicated to try and run with a regular stroller. But damnit, you really had to go and tell me that I need to spend every waking minute with my baby girl? I know this, but it's not possible, and that is what every mother struggles with. What makes me the most mad- why did I let that comment bug me? Oh, that's right, it's another part of mother's guilt: I'm not good enough and any flaw I have screams bad mom. That's what all of us moms struggle with.
The problem is I'm not myself if I don't get to exercise, even if it is just a walk here and there. I like to take care of myself, and I fully believe the idea that you can't take care of others until you take care of yourself. If I'm not happy, I can't make anyone else happy. And we all know this one- "If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy". It's true though- even with dads who are 100% supportive and willing to help with everything when it comes to their child(ren), we as moms still feel like we have to shoulder every task and burden by ourselves. And there's only so many loads of laundry we can do to soothe our souls or poopy diapers to change to put a smile on our face. At some point, we need a break.
So I'm here to tell that girl who judged me- dude, those 2 runs I took totalled in time to less than 30 minutes. It is now Thursday, so in 4 days time, I have had a total of 30 minutes of time all to myself. How much time have you had? Oh wait, you don't have a baby, so ALL of your time is your own. Leave me alone and have a nice day :)
(Actually, insert several obscene comments here as to where you can go and how you can get there, because I am a damn good mom and you're probably just jealous that I am in better shape post-baby than you could ever dream of being.) #rantover
Thanks for reading :)