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Monday, January 2, 2012

If you have a friend who has a baby, please read...

Although I am not the first in my circle of friends to have a baby, I feel like a lot of my friends are still getting used to the idea that I have a little one. And as any parent will tell you, I feel like some have already "dropped" me from their life because they don't know how to be my friend anymore, simply because I can't drop whatever I'm doing to go out with them. So, to all of my friends, and anyone else reading this who has friends with kids, here are some duties/obligations you should always follow.

1. You must ask how the baby/child is doing. That little one has become the center of your friend's life, so it is imperative you let your friend discuss/vent/retell a funny story, etc. But you DO NOT have to sit through a 20 minute analysis of their child's last bowel movement. If your friend starts doing that, feel free to tell them you are grossed out.

2. You must ask how your friend is doing. It seems like after having a baby, nobody cares how mommy/daddy is doing- everyone focuses on the baby (for good reason...they are usually [yes, I say usually] adorable). But remember your friend is a person too and he/she is probably feeling tired, anxious, happy, excited just like you are on any given day, and probably 10 times more so. Never forget that your friend is still   your friend  and not just your friend plus a baby.

3. If your friend asks you to go out, and he/she has a babysitter arranged, it is your obligation to go with, no matter what is going on- if it's a weekday and you have to work the next morning; you don't really like what she has planned to do; you don't have a lot of money. No excuse is valid- your friend has trusted someone else to stay with their child, and probably hasn't had more than 20 minutes to themselves in days, weeks, or even months. YOU have no serious tie downs compared to having a 15lb weight attached to you at all times. JUST DO IT.

4. As a friend, you will feel obligated to buy presents, and let me tell you the best presents to give- D.I.A.P.E.R.S. Not the cute clothes or obnoxious toys, but diapers and even formula. But also make sure you ask for specifics like brand, size, which kind of formula, etc. A box of diapers or a can of formula costs about $20 and will last a week (if your friend is lucky). A cute $20 outfit will get worn once and it is guaranteed the baby/child will spit up, vomit, or poop all over it (if they even get to wear it before they outgrow it). Make your money go further and save your friend a trip to the store- double bonus!

I'm sure there are other things you can do to help out or be a better friend to someone with a child, but nap time is over. One thing to remember- expect all of these duties to be returned by your friend when you have a child of your own, and don't be surprised if you get even more help out of them than you thought. Veteran parents are usually willing to help the newbies- and that is something I will always be grateful for!


  1. Great advice!!! I remember, now 13 years ago, when my husband and I had our first child the nurse in the hospital told the new parents to "charge" admission to see the baby. Diapers, formula, dinner for mom and dad, a cup of coffee, anything! Lol!! That has always stuck with me and now when a friend has a baby I always try to do the practical! So great to find you on voiceBoks! I'm now happily following! Congratulations on your beautiful angel!!! I love the name of your blog, that's just great!! Happy New Year!!!